We All Do

Holidays start with great conversations about how maintaining relationships requires more effort, and how things get somewhat colder. Many of us feel misunderstood, helpless, overworked, overwhelmed, isolated, left out, or unjustly treated. Consequently, out of our own stress response we have less capacity to be compassionate, understanding and proactively kind towards each other. Instead, we compare, judge or attack to protect our ego, to defend our decisions, to avert a threat, while truly, we feel the same:

1. Something in my life turned out differently than planned.
2. Nothing in my life is perfect, and there’s no reason to be jealous or feel inferior.
3. What looks effortless, in reality is months and years of willingly or unwillingly leaving my comfort zone. 
4. I want to be seen for what I create, accepted for who I am, and hugged for what I’m trying regardless of my fears.
5. I want to hear others struggle as well, and I’m not alone.

Can we stop being defensive, and pretend we have it all figured out, while honestly, we’re full of doubts? Can we stop perpetuating a social survival pattern that triggers us to feel ashamed for a less-than-perfect situation, and at the same time, forbids to speak honestly about our struggles? Can we have more trust in each other, and assume that uncertainty is human, and, most of all, shared?

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